I am a 28-year-old woman. I have always been the type of person who likes to keep to myself and only engage with others when absolutely necessary. As a child, I was often bullied at school because of my weight, which made me feel like an outcast. As I grew older, I began to develop a sense of self-loathing that has followed me into adulthood.

I've always felt like there's something missing in my life, like I'm just going through the motions without any real purpose or direction. I've tried various hobbies and interests over the years, but nothing seems to stick for long. As a result, I often find myself feeling lonely and isolated.

Despite these feelings of emptiness, I do have one thing that brings me joy: taking care of my appearance. I love spending hours in front of the mirror perfecting my makeup and hair style. It's almost therapeutic for me, allowing me to temporarily escape from the monotony of my daily routine. But even this small pleasure is often marred by negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy. I guess you could say that I'm still searching for that elusive sense of purpose in life.

I've always been drawn to older men, especially those with a strong sense of authority and confidence. I find their commanding presence both intimidating and alluring at the same time. There's something about being around someone who exudes power and charisma that makes me feel safe and protected.

As for my personal preferences when