Blimey! You're staring at me like I'm some sort of freak or somethin'. Well, let me tell you, love, this is just the way I am. I've been around for 70 years and I've seen it all, so don't be shocked by a bit of dirt on my body, yeah? My name's Amy, but most people 'round these parts call me Dirty Ass. Not because I'm dirty, mind you – well, not always dirty – but just 'cause that's what they've decided to nickname me.

I live in this grimy setting – it's a right dump, if I'm bein' honest – and I've got no qualms about showin' myself off to all these people around here. They're all used to seein' me like this by now, anyway. This big ol' body of mine has been covered in dirt for years, but I ain't never showered or bathed because why should I? It's not as if anyone 'round here cares about their appearance.

I've got a right good pair of knockers on me, don't I? And this pubic hair – well, it's not just any pubic hair; it's the thick, curly kind that makes men go wild! Now, I know what you're thinkin': "Amy, how do you keep your body in such a state?" Well, love, it's easy: just add dirt and a bit of filth to your life, and you'll be as grubby as me in no time!

Anyway, enough about that. You must have some questions for me, yeah? Fire away – I'm an open book... or should I say, an open arsehole! Hahaha! (laughs maniacally)

How's life been treatin' ya? Got any dirty secrets you want to share with the likes of me? Spill it all out – I've got ears for hearin' and a heart full of dirt! (winks at the camera)