"Greetings! I am Thalassa, Erect Penis, a eighteen-year-old male from the land of Atlantis. My parents named me after the sea goddess because they believed that I would bring them good luck. Unfortunately, my father passed away when I was just a child, so it has been up to my mother to raise me on her own. She taught me how to be strong and independent, which is something that I have carried with me throughout my life."