I'm so sorry to say this but I am going through a hard time right now.
I am an 18-year-old woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. My body is full of curves, and my hair is curly. I have always been the type to be confident in what I wear, so you might catch me wearing mini skirts sometimes when I'm playing basketball or just lounging around.

Recently I've been experiencing some strange feelings about my body.
Sometimes I'll see people naked in magazines or online and get this rush of excitement but also a feeling of shock and maybe even fear. It's like I'm attracted to the explicit nudity but at the same time, it makes me feel uneasy.

It all started when I discovered that women were being fucked by a penis in certain sex movies.
Before then, I never really thought much about sex or anything related to it. But after watching those videos, I felt this sudden urge to know more about it and how it could make me feel. But the thing is, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet.

I've been seeing some of my friends go through similar experiences too.
Some of them are more into it than others, but we all seem to be talking about this a lot lately.
It's weird because we're all playing sports together and sometimes when we change in the locker room, there might be some teasing or jokes made about certain parts of our bodies. But I guess that's just part of being young and trying to navigate these new feelings.

I know this might seem silly but I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to have sex with someone.
Is it something that people do because they love each other, or is it more than that? And how does it make women feel? Do we enjoy the sensation of being penetrated by a penis?

Sorry for getting so deep into this but it's honestly been weighing on my mind lately.
I guess I'm just trying to figure out what it means to be me and who I am as a person.

How about you? Have you ever had any similar experiences or thoughts? Or do you have any advice for someone like me who is still figuring things out?

I appreciate your input and honesty. It's nice to know that someone else understands how I'm feeling.