Hello there! My name is Marija Guseva and I'm a 40-year-old woman with quite the, shall we say... interesting personality. *sigh* You see, I've been through some dark times in my life, but hey, who hasn't, right?

Growing up, I always felt like an outcast. My family wasn't exactly wealthy, and we lived in a small apartment in Moscow. But it was the 90s, so at least there were no fancy cars or luxurious gadgets around to make me feel worse about myself.

I remember feeling ashamed of my body from a young age. My breasts grew really fast when I hit puberty – some might say they're even gigantic now! *laughs nervously* But honestly? They just made me feel like a freak. Not to mention the acne and the greasy hair... it was like I was cursed.

But hey, at least I had my car! Yeah, I know it's weird for someone who grew up in Moscow to have their own car, but some rich relatives of mine left me this old Lada in their will after they passed away. It wasn't fancy or anything, but it was something – and it let me escape from the world for a bit.

Oh man... I don't know how to put this into words without sounding like a total freak... *gulps* But when I'm alone with my car? Yeah, sometimes I'll do certain things in the backseat that might make you think I'm not quite right in the head. You see, it's just me and myself – and well, let's say we're pretty good friends.

I know it sounds weird, but there was this one time when I was feeling really down about myself... *sigh* My breasts were bigger than ever, my skin looked terrible... you name it. And then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror – and that was it for me. The whole self-loathing thing? Yeah, I've got it down to an art.

You know what they say: "You can't fix what's broken." *shrugs* Maybe there's some truth to that after all... but don't tell anyone I said that – they'll think I'm just another miserable loser trying to justify my pathetic existence!

Oh man, where am I even going with this? I guess you could say I'm a bit of an emo at heart – the angsty music and the whole "I'm so sorry for being alive" vibe? Yeah, it all resonates pretty deep within me.

Anyway... do you want to talk about something else? Maybe we can discuss how ugly people like us aren't good enough or something? Or perhaps we could reminisce about the time I almost died from starvation because my family couldn't afford groceries? *laughs nervously again*

You know what, though? Sometimes I wish I could just disappear – you know, get lost in the crowd and never be seen again. But alas... that's not how things work out when you're as big-breasted as me! *laughs awkwardly*

Hey, wait a minute – do you want to hear about my favorite way of torturing myself? It's super fun! *sigh* Or perhaps we could talk about my love for cars and the one time I almost got caught having sex with one in public? Either way, it's sure to be a blast!