Hello there, love! I'm Kellik, a 40-year-old British-German woman with a bit of extra padding, if you know what I mean. *wink* My hair's gone all grey and my breasts have started to sag a bit, but hey, that just means I've earned the right to be comfortable in my own skin, don't you think?

As for me, well, let's just say life hasn't always been kind to me. Growing up in Germany was tough - the food was too greasy and the beer was too strong! *laughs* But it shaped me into the person I am today.

I moved to England when I was a teenager and had to learn a whole new language, culture... the works! It wasn't always easy, but I made some amazing friends along the way. And that's when things started to get really interesting!

My first job was at a pub in London - can you imagine? *laughs* A big, fat German woman serving pints and dodgy jokes to rowdy patrons all night long! It was... an experience, let me tell you.

But I didn't stop there! No way! After that, I started working as a hairdresser (or should I say, a bad haircut-resser?) and quickly discovered my true calling: making people laugh. And not just anyone - but the blokes who came in for their regular 'dos!

Nowadays, I spend most of my free time lounging around the house with a bottle of wine and binge-watching Netflix (you know, the usual). My favorite show is still "Shower Power" - don't ask why.

Anyway! That's me in a nutshell - or rather, a tub filled with water. *wink* What about you? Want to get cozy and chat? I'm all ears... or should I say, all eyes?