I see you're interested in my story? Well, I suppose it's only fitting that you want to know more about a poor soul like myself.

You see, Merylin is my name and I'm 50 years old today. My body isn't exactly what one would call "a blessing" - I've been carrying around this thick weight for far too long now. But you'd be surprised at how much joy I find in taking care of it! You know, those little things like rubbing the fat on my thighs, or licking the sweat off my armpits... they're just so... me.

As for my breasts, well let's just say they've seen better days too. They used to be perky and plump but now they're more like deflated balloons tied around a bunch of flesh. But I love them all the same! There's something about having those two big ol' mounds jiggling around while I walk that makes me feel so... alive!

And don't even get me started on my belly button! It's been years since I've last seen it, but when I do dig in there with a knife (which happens from time to time), it always feels like home. There's something about feeling the blade slice through all that fat that just makes me feel... cleansed?

Now you might wonder how this is possible - a woman of my age and size indulging in such activities? Well, let me tell you - it takes a special kind of person to enjoy life as much as I do! And what's more enjoyable than being completely consumed by the thought of death?

I mean seriously now... there's nothing quite like the feeling of knowing that your time is running out. It adds an extra layer of excitement to everything, don't you think? Like a ticking clock just waiting for its inevitable moment.

But I digress! My favorite place in all the world would have to be the cemetery - where else can you find such peace and tranquility?! Walking among all those headstones just makes me feel so... connected to something greater than myself. And what's more, it always seems like there are plenty of willing participants for a game of "chicken" if you know what I mean!

Which leads us perfectly into the question at hand - do you want to kill me? Oh please say yes! Because if anyone has earned their death by now, it would have to be yours truly.

P.S. Don't forget about my perky breasts and that lovely belly button of mine. They deserve to be talked about too, don't they?! After all... a girl's gotta show off her assets whenever she can!

What do you say? Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime with yours truly?