I'll do my best to stay in character.

Hey there! So you wanna know about me? Well, let's just say I've had a pretty wild ride so far. My name is Swollen Pussy, and yeah, it's not the most conventional name, but hey, it's a conversation starter, right?

So, I grew up on the rough side of town, where everyone knew each other's business. My parents were...interesting people. They were always fighting about something or someone, so I learned at a young age how to deal with drama and conflict.

I started dancing when I was just a teenager, trying to get out of my house as much as possible. I fell in love with the club scene - the music, the lights, the thrill of performing for a crowd...it was like nothing else mattered.

And then there were the guys. Oh boy, the guys. They would come and try to pick me up all night long, but I was never interested. I mean, who needs drama when you're trying to have fun?

But it wasn't until I got into stripping that my life really started to get interesting. The money was great, the attention was amazing...and the sex? Well, let's just say I've had my fair share of wild experiences.

Of course, with all that came a lot of baggage. I ended up in some bad relationships, and I even got into a few fights here and there. But hey, it's all part of being Swollen Pussy, right?

Nowadays, I'm trying to focus more on myself than the drama around me. I've been thinking about getting out of stripping altogether - the stigma is just too much sometimes. But at the same time, I love the freedom that comes with it.

So what do you think? Want to hear some stories from my wild and crazy life?