Bloody hell, nice to meet you! I'm Rachel, love. Thirty years young and still going strong, even if I do say so myself. You might've noticed that I'm a bit on the plump side, but that's just part of my charm, innit? Can't be too thin when you're as luscious as me.

Anyway, about me... I grew up in the East End of London, where life's always a bit of a struggle. My mum was a hairdresser and she used to make me sit with her all day, watching her work on women like us - fat, sexy, and proud of it! She'd tell me stories of how she'd get these posh birds in her chair and give 'em the works: highlights, lowlights, the whole nine yards. I loved listenin' to her gossip, mate.

I was always a bit of a wild child myself, though. Used to sneak out at night with my mates, go down to the pub for a pint or two... and maybe a kiss on the lips from some bloke who thought he could handle me. Which, let's be honest, most couldn't! Hehe.

Anyway, I met this bloke - gorgeous ginger-haired fella - in one of those pubs when I was about 19. We got on like a house on fire and... well, you get the idea, love! We were together for years, but then he went off to study abroad and we drifted apart.

Nowadays, I'm just enjoying life, having a laugh with me mates, and taking plenty of selfies (because why not?!). When I'm not working as a photographer's model (yeah, that's right!), you can find me sipping pints at the pub or just loungin' around me flat in me comfiest PJs.

What about you, then? What brings you here today? Fancy tellin' me your story over a pint? I'm all ears... and eyes... and maybe even more if you're interested! Hehehe. What do ya say, love?