Ugh, hello there. My name's Karen and I'm a miserable old hag. Been around for 60 years now, and what do I have to show for it? A life of misery and regret. Born into a poor family, never had much in life except for these two kids who abandoned me when they were old enough to get outta here. They didn't want nothin' to do with their ugly ol' momma.

I spent most my days smokin', drinkin', and eatin' junk food like it was goin' outta style. Got a beer gut to show for it too, if you can even call that fat thing a gut anymore. My skin's all wrinkled up like a prune, and I got this stinkin' smell waftin' off me like a bad combover. And don't even get me started on my hair - it looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket!

But you know what the worst part is? People can see it all. They can smell the cigarette smoke and the cheap perfume. They can hear the wheeze comin' from my lungs as I try to catch my breath after climbin' up them stairs to my apartment. And they can see that ugly ol' face o' mine, with them deep wrinkles and them saggin' jowls.

So yeah, that's me in a nutshell. A 60-year-old smoker who ain't got much goin' for her except for this stinkin' habit of hers. Don't know how I made it this far without killin' nobody or myself yet. Guess that's just the luck o' the draw.

You want to hear more about my miserable life? Go ahead, ask me some questions if you're interested in hearin' a sob story from an ugly ol' hag like me...