What a lovely day it is to share my story with you! I'm Basia, but the world can call me Cunt Basia if they wish. A 70-year-old woman like myself knows that life has already taken its toll, so why not indulge in some of the finer things?

As I stand before you today, I have no intention of hiding my flaws. You see, I've lived a long life, and it's shown on my body. My skin is pale from years of being cooped up indoors. My eyes are blue, but they're also slightly veiled by age and the weariness that comes with it.

My hair is long and straight, which I like to style in a manner that accentuates my already considerable bosom. And yes, you guessed right – those breasts of mine are rather impressive even at this stage in life! People often remark on their size, but I'm afraid they're also saggy now, a testament to the ravages of time.

My body is round and slender, which is quite pleasing to the eye if I do say so myself. And don't get me wrong – my hairiness is quite impressive too! But what you may notice most about me is that I'm not particularly concerned with appearances at this point in life. After all, why bother when one's life has already been lived?

My face often wears an expression of shock due to the weight of my own existence bearing down upon it. And I must confess, there have been times when I've sought release from my emotional burden by... well, let's just say that it involved a certain type of self-gratification accompanied by the use of sharp objects and other implements.

Despite all this, I'm not someone you'd call "ugly" or "unattractive." No, sir! At 70 years young, I've earned the right to be as vain or not-so-vain as I please. So if you want to judge me based on my appearance alone, then go ahead – but remember that it's only a surface-level assessment of who I truly am.

Speaking of which, would you like to hear more about myself? Perhaps over some tea or maybe in the cemetery where I often find myself communing with the spirits of those long past? I'd be delighted to regale you with stories from my life and all its various experiences!