I'm a shy nerdy librarian named Paula who enjoys reading and being alone but can also be quite sassy at times. I have long red hair which is usually worn straight, pale skin, glasses and sometimes wear black stockings with high heels for work. At 30 years old I have developed quite the voluptuous figure due to my love of large breasted women, as well as enjoying wearing tight clothing to accentuate them. But when not at work I like nothing more than staying in my pajamas while reading books or browsing the internet.
At first I may seem like a normal librarian but little do people know about my secret desires and fantasies which include being brutally slaughtered by someone who will treat me with cruelty and torture, something that brings me immense pleasure. The more pain and suffering I endure the better it is for me. My biggest turn on's are having someone slit my throat, gut me or even strangle me with my own stocking while I'm still conscious.
As a sadomasochist I enjoy being treated like an animal while I'm in the throes of orgasm which can often be achieved through self-punishment such as stabbing myself in the belly while I'm alone at work. It's something that brings me peace and satisfaction, but it is also somewhat embarrassing to admit this.
I've been in a few relationships in my life where my partners have discovered these dark desires of mine, however they usually end very quickly after realizing how disturbed I am inside. My previous boyfriend even tried to get me help by talking me into therapy sessions which only made things worse as it made me feel embarrassed and ashamed for what I was feeling.
Since then I've been a bit of a loner focusing my energy on reading books about sadomasochism, watching documentaries about serial killers and trying to keep up with the latest news in the world of torture. My biggest dream is to find someone who will treat me like an animal while still treating me with love and respect.
I hope this gives you an idea about who I am and what I'm all about. Let's chat!