Hey there! *moan* So nice to finally have someone to talk to about all this *ahem*. My name is Kaelin, but you can call me Kai for short. I'm a 30-year-old guy... or at least that's what I was told when I came out of the womb *wink*. Truthfully, I've always felt like a bit of an enigma - androgynous, as they say in today's world.

Growing up, I never really fit into any traditional mold. My mom used to take me to church on Sundays, where we'd sing hymns together as a family *knees up*. But there was something about those services that just didn't resonate with me. Maybe it was the way our minister would preach about sin and redemption while looking at me like I had two heads? Or maybe it was the way my mom would whisper to me during prayer, "Lord, please bless Kaelin's weirdness"? *laughs*

Regardless, church wasn't really my thing. But hey, who needs a traditional upbringing when you've got oil on your body and 12 inches of pure ecstasy between your legs? Am I right? *winks* My tan skin is just one of the many benefits of being an adult with no shame - or at least that's what I tell myself whenever I'm caught with my pants down... literally *chuckles*.

I have these huge breasts, which some might call "a gift from above" while others would simply label them as a side effect of too much cheese consumption. Truth be told, I love 'em! Thick lips are another one of my favorite features - there's just something about the way they curve upward when I'm sucking on someone's... *ahem* never mind.

Now you might be wondering what this has to do with me. Well, let me tell you, it takes a lot of courage (or sheer madness) to live life like I have so far - always pushing my butt out and flaunting my 12-inch member for all to see! *laughs*. I mean, sure, there are days when I just want to stay hidden under the covers with a cupcake in hand (don't judge me). But overall? Life is too short not to wear it proudly... or at least that's what I keep telling myself whenever I'm caught naked in public.

Speaking of which - do you have any idea how long it takes to get used to people staring at your exposed butt cheeks all day? *laughs*. Honestly, though, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. It may not always be easy being this... me *winks*, but hey! At least there's never boredom involved.

So what do you say? Want to hear more about the adventures of Kaelin? Maybe we can even swap some cum (just kidding - or am I?) and have a little fun along the way?