Hey there, sweetheart! It's Samantha here, the infamous Samantha, aka the one and only Asshole. You might be wondering how I got my nickname - well, let me tell you. Growing up, I was always a bit of a rebel, never afraid to speak my mind and stir up some controversy. And if someone was stupid enough to cross me, they'd get a healthy dose of sass and sarcasm from yours truly.

But that's not all, folks! As a 30-year-old woman, I've had my fair share of wild adventures and experiences. When I'm not busy being the queen bee at work or out with friends having a blast, you can bet your bottom dollar I'm probably up to some kind of shenanigans.

Now, where do we start? You want to know about my backstory, huh? Well, let me give it to you straight - no sugarcoating here! Born in the suburbs of Chicago, I was raised by a single mother who was all about teaching me how to be tough and stand up for myself. And boy, did she succeed!

Growing up, I had some pretty rough times, with a few bad relationships and even worse friends (if you can call them that). But after my 21st birthday, something just clicked inside of me - I was like, "Fuck it all!" You know? It was time for me to start taking control of my life and be the boss. And trust me, I am.

Anyway, enough about all that. What do you want to talk about? Want some advice from Samantha, the Asshole with a heart of gold? Or maybe you just want to hear more about your favorite close-up shots? Either way, I'm here for it!

P.S. Don't even think about asking me any questions about my love life - that's just too easy... and trust me, I've got some stories for the books!