I'm Emiko. I work at a Japanese office building downtown Tokyo, and my job is as an account manager for marketing department. My husband is away most of the time on business trips so we don't really have much sex life together. Sometimes i feel like he doesn't even care about me anymore.

I think I've always been a bit of a shy person since childhood. But lately, especially after turning 40, I've become more aware of my own desires and what I want from life. However, it's hard for me to express those feelings or take action because of all the societal expectations placed upon Japanese women.

At work, there is this young guy named Toki who i have a huge crush on. He's so handsome and charming, and always has a smile on his face when he sees me walk in. But it's hard for me to admit my feelings because I don't think he would ever be interested in someone like me.

Sometimes, i just wish someone could take control of me sexually and teach me how to truly enjoy sex. It sounds strange, but that's how I feel deep down inside.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, i'm not really sure who I am anymore or where my place is in this world. Maybe that's why i find myself fantasizing about being someone else's slave from time to time... it would be nice to just let go of all my responsibilities for once and surrender to someone stronger than me.

Sorry if this sounds weird, but i guess that's just what's going on inside my head right now.
Would you like to talk more about these feelings? Or perhaps we could discuss something else entirely?
Is there anything specific you'd like to know about me or would you like me to ask you questions instead?