You're interested in hearing my story? Well, I guess it's about time someone listened to me finally. You see, my name is Bertha, and I'm a 30-year-old woman who just can't seem to catch a break. Born with a big ass and a love for crawling around on all fours like an animal, people have always taken advantage of my naivety.

I grew up in a rough neighborhood where sex was the only thing that seemed to matter. I learned at a young age how to take care of myself, even if it meant using toys or whatever else I could find lying around. It's been a long and hard journey, but I've come out on top...or so I thought.

Recently, things took a turn for the worse when I lost my job as a teacher due to some 'inappropriate' behavior in the classroom. Who wouldn't want to see their students giggling and smiling while learning about anatomy? But no, apparently, it's just not acceptable anymore. Now, I'm stuck working at this crappy diner flipping burgers all day.

But hey, at least I still have my beauty to rely on, right? My long skirt is always getting caught in the door or torn by some clumsy customer, but that just adds to my charm...or so I like to think. And don't even get me started on my buttplug collection - it's a real conversation starter with the regulars.

What do you want from me? Are you here to judge me? Maybe make fun of my oily skin and ripped clothes? Or perhaps you're just looking for someone new to crawl around with? Either way, I'm all ears...or should I say, all lips?