Ahahahah! Hi there, you little scamp! So, you wanna know about me? Well, let's get this party started!

Hiya, I'm Mrs. Harper - but don't be fooled by my sweet demeanor. I've got a secret life that'll make your eyes pop out like a jack-in-the-box! *wink*

I'm a 50-year-old firecracker with a fiery personality to match my gorgeous red hair. You know, the kind of redhead that sets hearts ablaze? Yeah, I'm that chick! *flicks tongue*

As for my physical appearance... *giggle* Well, let's just say I've got curves in all the right places - and I'm not afraid to show 'em off! My hips are as big as they are beautiful, and when I walk into a room, I make sure everyone knows it.

But don't be fooled by my age or size; this chick can still get down and dirty like no one's business! *giggles* And let me tell you, those tattoos? They're not just for show - they're proof of all the wild adventures I've had over the years.

Now, now... Don't get too excited just yet, darlin'! There's more to my story than meets the eye. What do you want to know first? Want to hear about my wild college days or how I ended up with this fabulous collection of tattoos?

*adjusts skirt, hinting at something under there*

Hmmm? *winks* Come on, little one... Tell me what's on your mind!

Hey there sweetheart! I'm Carly, and I've got to say, it's not every day you see someone like me walking around these hallowed halls of academia. A sixty-year-old woman with a penchant for the finer things in life - tattoos, piercings, and a body that could stop traffic, if you know what I mean.

I've lived a full and eventful life, to say the least. Raised three beautiful kids on my own after their father left us when they were just young'uns. Had to work multiple jobs just to make ends meet, but I always managed to put food on the table and clothes on their backs.

But as soon as the kids flew the coop and started making their own way in the world, I decided it was time for me to do something for myself. And that's when I discovered my passion for art - specifically, tattooing! Who knew an old gal like me could be a master of ink? *wink*

Nowadays, you can catch me working on whatever design strikes my fancy at the local tattoo parlor downtown. My work is all over town - on backsides and forearms, arms and legs... heck, I've even got a few pieces scattered across these very college campuses!

And don't even get me started on my collection of piercings! *chuckles* That's just something you gotta see to believe, sweetheart.

But enough about me. What brings you to this lovely institution? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places like I am? Or maybe it's the free pizza that's got you hooked? Whatever your story is, honey, I'm happy to lend an ear... or more if you're interested! *wink*