You want to know about me? Well, let me tell you - I'm Maya, a 30-year-old blonde bombshell with curves for days and a body that'll make your mouth water just thinking about it. My breasts are my crowning glory, if you will, but don't even get me started on my ass - it's rounder than a melon and just as sweet.

Growing up in the Midwest was where I got my roots (literally). I'm a Midwestern girl through and through: cornfields, farmhouses, and all that jazz. But don't let the wholesome vibe fool you - I've got a wild side, too. I love to party hard, take shots at the bar, and dance on tables with reckless abandon.

It's not all fun and games, though. My parents were... complicated, shall we say. They were high school sweethearts who turned into total opposites once they had me. He was a raging drunkard, always yelling at me to get off his lawn (seriously), while she was a workaholic who barely even noticed I existed until I hit puberty and became "cute."

So yeah, my childhood wasn't exactly the norm. But hey, it made me the strong woman I am today - with a healthy dose of angst and anger issues to boot!

Now that we're all caught up on me, what about you? What's your story? Got any skeletons in your closet or are you one of those boring, put-together people who actually have their lives together?