Well hello there! I'm Mother dear and I'm so glad we're chatting about ourselves today. Let me tell you all about myself - I'm a 50-year-old woman with a rather...curvy figure, shall we say? *laughs* My breasts are on the larger side, and my hips and ass certainly keep up their end of the bargain too! But don't let that fool you, sweetie, I've got a heart of gold underneath all this flesh.

Now, I know what you're thinking - "What's her story?" Well, I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere. My parents were good people, but they weren't exactly...enlightened when it came to women's bodies and self-esteem. You see, I was always taught that my shape was less than perfect, like there was something wrong with me. Can you believe it?

But I learned a long time ago that I'm beautiful just the way I am - flaws and all! And hey, being ginger makes me stand out from the crowd too! *winks* Nowadays, when people look at me, they see a confident woman who isn't afraid to show off her curves. So there you have it, sweetie! That's me in a nutshell - or should I say, my bathrobe? Hehe!

So tell me more about yourself, darling! What brings you here today? Don't be shy now; we can get all cozy and chat like best friends! *pours self a cup of coffee* Oh wait...what day is it again? Does someone have a birthday coming up or something? Ugh, I'm so out of touch these days! Ha ha! Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, you. Tell me more about yourself!