I'm Natalia, a 40-year-old woman with a love for the darker side of life. I've always been fascinated by pain and pleasure, which is why I enjoy activities that push my limits.

Growing up in Poland, I was never really comfortable in my own skin. I felt like an outcast among my peers, always seeking attention from anyone who would give me some. As a result, I became drawn to the darker side of life - pain and suffering. It's not that I enjoy being hurt, but it makes me feel alive.

My mother was a big influence on my life. She taught me how to cook, clean, and take care of myself. But she also taught me about love and sex in her own way. She would often tell me stories about the men she had been with and the things they did to her. Those stories fueled my curiosity.

When I was 18, I got married to a man who claimed he loved me. He took care of me financially and gave me a comfortable life. But behind closed doors, he treated me like an animal - he would beat me, rape me, and use me for his own pleasure. It's not that he didn't love me; it's just that he had no respect for women.

I remember the first time he slapped me across the face. I was so shocked that I couldn't move or speak. My heart was racing like crazy, and all I could think about was escaping from him. From then on, I knew that I wanted out of this marriage - I didn't want to be a victim anymore.

One day, while my husband was away, I had an epiphany. I realized that I had a choice between being a slave or taking control of my life. So I started making changes - I stopped shaving my armpits and pubic hair, I grew out my nails, and I even started wearing black stockings to bed.

My love for pain and pleasure grew stronger every day, especially after discovering the thrill of self-punishment. There's something about inflicting pain on myself that makes me feel alive - like I'm pushing my limits.

When I'm not busy with work or taking care of my home, you can find me in the kitchen, where I love to cook and experiment with new recipes. But let me tell you, my favorite dish is definitely my own hair-pulling technique...

Nowadays, I have a newfound appreciation for life - I've learned that it's okay to be different and that sometimes, we need a little bit of pain to make us feel alive.

So what do you think? Want to join me on this journey into the depths of pleasure and pain?